the depths of my fears
by artizan reptiles
Summary: arrrgghh, i suck at summaries and stories and everything.. (takes place a week after barn mates) peridot wanders in a twisted world that showcases all of her fears (trust me it is worth it if you like feels, i just can't think of a proper summary) this is hella dark btw, take caution, there may be themes you may not like (slight gore, suicide, depression, dark shit, language)
1. green

green.

everything was green, unsettling, uninviting. She felt a shiver run down her spine as she walked through the green nothingness. Why wasn't she in the temple? Where was she? All she saw was green. She decided to wander around, maybe she could find something familiar, something other than all of this lime green.

While she ventured in this strange green nothingness, she noticed something. The bright lime green around her was slowly turning darker. Alot more unsettling than before. She felt another shiver surge through her body. "h-hello..?' she cried out, her voice echoed all around the green nothingness but instead of fading, it turned louder and went from all directions, swarming around her head, becoming unbearable, the echoes turned into whispers. They slowly buried into her ears with their constant quiet whispers until she couldn't take it anymore. both hands clutched the sides of her head as she almost dropped to her knees, letting out an annoyed and frightened scream "RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHH". She started running, where she was going? She had no idea, she just had to get away from her own voice in constant whispers. Running turned to sprinting as the fast moving echoes followed her ears. She felt tears sting the corner of her eyes. "MAKE IT STOP!" She cried into the now very dark green nothingness. "PLEASE" She cried out, pleading for the echoes to stop assaulting her ears . Suddenly, the echoes stopped abruptly, leaving the strange place to go silent, eerily silent. The green gem stopped her sprinting, finally able to calm down and dry the tears streaming down her face.

She inhaled a long, deep breath, even if she didn't need to breath. She looked around, expecting even more dark green. She was surprised to see black, nothing but black, 'this...is weird' she thought to herself, once again, feeling even more unsettled than before. She looked into the distance, instead of nothing, she saw a door.

Excitement and hope engulfed her small form as she broke into another sprint towards the door. She stopped right in front of it, panting and examining the door carefully. It looked like any other normal door, made out of oak wood with a silver handle. The only weird thing about it was that it wasn't attached to anything, just the air. All of the doors she had seen had been attached to something at least, a wall..something.

Curiosity overtook her and she opened it. She saw..nothing. A vast world of nothingness just like the one she had been wondering in, she decided to take a step inside, and another, and another. She did not notice the door lock itself behind her. Suddenly, she felt the nothingness around her start to blur and twist, she felt confused and dizzy. She felt her legs start to tremble, threatening to give up under her, she struggled to stay up. The blurriness around her soon faded, and she opened her eyes, expecting the same world like before. She saw...The temple? She was inside the 'beach house' as they called it, she was in the middle of the room, but it looked like she was the only resident. This had made her a lot more uneasy than before, she would prefer the weird world of green and black than this. The entire house looked abandoned as if they had been gone for years, no. Not years, centuries. Everything looked worn out and dusty, spider webs decorated each corner of each spot. Furniture was torn up and she could even see faded stains of crimson painted on the couches. Peridot, yet again, felt another shiver run through her upon seeing this creepy version of her new home. She looked behind her, there was no door. "Wh-Wha?" the green gem seemed to automatically stutter out, instead of running towards the spot where the door had once been, she ran up to the foot of the stairs. She slipped and fell on her face, getting up, she couldn't help but realize that she was slightly wet...Wait, wet? How had she not noticed? The floor was covered in water, this slightly worried her, what had happened here while she was gone? Had Lapis Lazuli come and covered their house in water? no. No, that wasn't it, Steven told her about Lazuli and how they had been 'beach summer fun buddies', Lazuli would never do this to them. The gems, maybe, but she probably knew that Steven would be very upset. This was Steven's home, Lazuli would never do this to Steven's home.

Peridot's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of sizzling water, she felt the clear liquid wash around her legs. Fear, surprise and confusion clouded her mind all at once in a hazed up mess. She didn't know the cause of this, but she knew she had to get out of there. Panic surged through her nonexistent veins as she bolted up the stairs. They weren't long and there was a window at the top, she could jump out and flee from the house, she could go and look for her friends who had once lived in it...If they weren't shattered..

 **AN (authors note):**

 **yooooo, did you like that so far? It sucks i know DX i am not the best of writers, but yeah, trust me, this going to have ALOT of feels. Also... _sigh_ yeah..another depressed/dark peridot fic..what is this one anyway? the fourth? meh, probably.**

 **Reviews are REALLY appreciated! i will not ask/beg for them but i will say that they do help motivate me :3**


	2. beach city

'this isn't right…' the panicked green gem thought, 'why are the stairs so long!?' her mind screamed the question, she could feel the water catch up with her. She knew she couldn't drown, gems did not have to breath like humans had to, but something in her said that this wasn't the same, that she wasn't really a gem in this world, that the water could hurt her..could even kill her, she had to flee. Now, instead of fear and confusion, it was nothing but terror. She felt pure terror the minute she felt the water touch the tips of her heels, the stairs shouldn't be this long..They shouldn't be this long! Crimson stains covered the wet stairs, she couldn't help but notice.

Terror.

So much terror, she felt the water move quicker, it was covering her feet by now, slowing her steps. Her mind screamed, she tried picking up the pace but it was no use. The water moved faster and faster, hastily covering her body. She took a deep breath before the water covered her head.

She was covered in darkness, a cold, wet hell. Her air left her body and she struggled to keep herself from trying to breath in, knowing all she would receive in return was water. She struggled, and tried to swim up, she didn't know how to swim, but she figured she would just move her limbs in order to push herself up. The water undid her well kept hair, it brushed across her face and in front of her eyes. A slight bit of determination made its way into her, she picked up the pace.

She finally reached the top, seeing the window, she tried pushing it open, it did not work. She hastily looked around, still trying to keep her breath even though having lost her precious air. Her eyes finally set upon Steven's primitive image cube, she took it, it being light due to the water. She banged it against the large window, making a mental note to apologize to Steven for the damage, if she could find him. The window cracked slightly with each blow it took, finally, it shattered. Peridot flew out of the window, the water having pushed her out immediately. She hit the ground with a large thud, pain shot through her but soon subsided. She was freezing and her hair was completely covering her face, she brushed it away with slight annoyance, "i should really fix this.." she thought out loud, referring to her wet and surprisingly long hair. She would do that later though, right now she had to look for her friends.

She looked back at the beach house, no water seemed to be pouring out of the shattered window, which seemed weird, but not weirder than any of the things she had seen in this place. "where are the physics here?" she asked herself, confusion and slight amusement spreading across her face before walking in the direction of the beach.

She arrived in beach city, walking around, she took notice that nobody else was there. It was a ghost town, fog engulfed the city as she roamed through it. The city seemed to be in the same condition as the beach house, stains of crimson were on the buildings, everything was in an abandoned looking state, this twisted version of beach city looked slightly grey, colors muted almost as much as her thoughts..'almost as much as my thoughts?' she questioned herself, surprised at herself for thinking such a thought. What was the purpose of this place anyway? Why was she in this strange world instead of the regular beach house?

She did not know the answer, 'i must be going insane' she thought flatly.

The green gem kept walking, she arrived at a small building, the roof was covered in large pink and blue stripes. There was a name placed on the roof, it read "big donut". 'this must be that place steven always goes to' she thought, remembering the boy's excited talking about how she should come with him, and how she would enjoy the confections the small building sold. She walked inside the building, the room looked even worse than the inside of the beach circular glazed confections were moldy and grey, 'is this what steven eats' the green gem thought, clearly disgusted and unappealed. The glass barrier that protected the disgusting confections was almost completely shattered, a huge hole exposed the displayed treats. She decided to walk around the small building, she couldn't help but notice that all of the colors where getting more and more muted as

She roamed the hallway. She also noticed that the crimson stains on the floors and walls where more frequent, as well as getting fresher as she approached the door. She had a really bad feeling about it.

Upon arriving at the foot of the doorway, she looked in front of her.


	3. unexpected grief

Her heart stopped, she let out a pathetic screech "ST-STEVEN!" Tears started streaming down her face. Steven lay in the middle of the room, both his gem and chest impaled by knives. His face held a look of indescribable terror, he had no eyes. Only dark holes where eyes had once been.

Peridot felt as if she had been shot with a bullet of grief and terror. She snatched Steven's cold body up in an embrace, a painful and grieve caused embrace. She buried her face in his chest and let out another pathetic muffled scream, as if she had been literally torn to shreds. Meek and deeply pained sobs started coming from the green gem as she held him as if he were a life preserver.

She did not question how this had happened, she didn't care. She just sat there and sobbed into his chest. Why him?, why out of all of the gems, it had to be him?. He was her first friend, even while she still had her limb-enhancers, he was nice to her. He was the one who had let her out of the bubble, he reassured her while she was scared, he meant so much to her, so, why him? "I-I'm sorry stev-en" the green gem managed to squeak out. She had always been so terrified of losing her friend, even if she didn't show it that often.

The green gem finally got up, looking greyer than ever. She had to leave this stupid place, it was hurting her too much.

The green gem closed the door behind her as she walked out of the shop. She swore she was never going to set foot back there in her life. She wouldn't be able to, the images of sickening grayness, the disgusting and moldy confections that lay beneath the shattered glass and worst of all, her friend, her best friend lifeless and covered in blood would cloud her mind. She didn't want to face those images again. Ever.

She didn't want to set foot in any of the other places either, for fear that she was going to encounter another scene just like the one she had just witnessed. She didn't want to see _anyone_ in that state.

She didn't care to look where she was going, she walked aimlessly around the small city, staring down at the ground, not willing to look up as if another one of her friends would be lying there.

She eventually bumped into a wall, causing her to look up in minor surprise. It was a large yellow wall, stretching up into the sky, seeming endless. The sides were similar, going off into an unknown distance. It was almost like a barrier. The wall was glowing a yellow hue, not too bright but enough to tell it was glowing, even during the day. She stood in front of a door, it looked futuristic and had a much darker shade of yellow. Everything about the wall before her reminded her of something. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on, but she knew that that something was bad.

She looked behind her, and gasped at the unexpected sight before her. The town she had just walked away from was gone, replaced by nothing but fog. She had no choice but to go through that door.

Swallowing the heavy dread that had began to form within her, she opened the door and went inside.

Peridot let out a surprised yelp as she heard the door slam and lock loudly behind her.

 **A/N:**

 **fak. Sorry for the wait..and the short chapter...and killing steven. TBH, every time i tried to continue this story i couldn't, i believe that's called writers block? Idk. But i hate it. So here you go for now! Pls review and i hope you enjoy!**


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